Put A Ring On It - Or No Kaiser Card for You.

by Heather Woodford, LCSW

marriage and health insurance.jpg

The depth to which monogamous (and usually heterosexual) marriage is inculcated into us is so insidious we don't even recognize it as odd. To many, it's like breathing - never questioned, assumed to be vital.

And this is not a personal attack - for many folks, monogamous, heterosexual marriage can be a wonderful choice!

However, when one singular form of one significant life relationship role is elevated to such a status that it crowds out the human rights of everyone who is either unable or uninterested in obtaining it, we have a serious social and economic problem.

The unquestioned belief that marriage should be the entry point for access to basic rights informs everything from our own self-judgments to national & international foreign & domestic policy. It's absolutely bananas.

And ultimately, it serves to reinforce existing power structures, and keep marginalized people marginalized.

My eyes were opened to how deeply this goes in my social welfare policy class in grad school. The way we reward/punish married/single parents through social programs, for example, and the ripple impact this has on children and communities, is pretty damn egregious. It coerces people in poverty, and people with high healthcare needs to enter/stay in marriages that are unsatisfying at best, and abusive or even lethal at worst. It limits options for single parent households. And as the meme says, it completely dismisses and undermines the vitally important role of family as caregivers, essential support, etc. It means that access to basic rights such as jobs, money, and access to life-sustaining social services such as healthcare, pensions, survivor benefits, life insurance, etc., continue to be disproportionately allocated to those already in positions of wealth & privilege, or those whom society deems attractive (i.e., those who are more likely to attract a marriageable mate)...

I could go on for days about this. It's eugenics. It's conservative ideology. And it's a massive, complex, deeply-rooted system of class oppression, packaged as "morality" or innocuous “religious rights” or "family centered" programs. Whose families? Middle-class, able-bodied (because many folks with disabilities LOSE access to their social security benefits when they marry - leading to a SMALLER combined household income), families with a "traditional" marriage at the center. That's who.

THIS is why non-monogamy; queerness; and sexual "deviance" are such a threat to the social order. But what/whom do these people and practices really threaten? Research tends to show that children of LGBT families and ethically non-monogamous families fare equally to their peers from heterosexual monogamous homes, and may actually be better off with more concerned loving adults in their life, rather than fewer.

Are kinky perverts running around spanking and tying people up? Well, no. Not without consent. And if they are, then we don't want 'em any more than YOU do - because people who value sexual justice INHERENTLY understand and value CONSENT. While you were gawking at media circus portraying queer folks, kinky people, sex workers, and folks who practice nonmonogamy as harmful to society, access to healthcare and death benefits and vital welfare benefits and decent living wages and affordable housing and so many other things were being systematically stolen from the hands of people who dared not to be married, or dared to be born to those who weren’t.

THIS is why a critical perspective of sexuality is key to understanding the way our society operates, who has access to resources, and who doesn't.

But hey, what do I know? I'm only a sex educator. Y'know - that "frivolous" sex thing, which should come vastly secondary to other "real" and "central" issues of social justice. That subject usually relegated to an elective status. But I'll bet you didn't learn about how the forced value of traditional marriage actually harms children in poverty from your mainstream history teachers, did you?

Take my class. You'll learn more about social justice than you ever expected - WHILE learning to have better orgasms.

And don't ever underestimate sexuality educators. The breadth or depth of our knowledge can match any other scholar's or practitioner's. Our lens on society can be just as deeply critical as anyone else's. And our critiques can be just as insightful and cutting as any other professional's.



Safer Sex: Using Barriers


Using barriers when you’re engaging sexually with another person is a great way to make sex safer and reduce the risk of passing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from one partner to another.

A barrier is any impermeable material that prevents bodily fluids like semen, vaginal fluid, saliva, or blood from being passed from one person’s body to another person’s body.

You probably learned some stuff about barriers, like condoms, in high school sex ed. But when it comes to barriers, you have a lot of options! Here is some information to get you started.


External condoms (condoms that are used on penises) tend to be the most well-known barrier. During penetrative, vaginal sex, Americans are using external condoms 25% of the time. And teens are using condoms more than their adult counterparts. Go youth making sex safer!

Condoms can be used to prevent the transmission of STIs and to prevent pregnancy during penis-in-vagina sex. To find free condoms near you, use this map.

Condoms are better at preventing STIs that are transmitted through bodily fluids (semen, vaginal fluid, and blood), such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, and HIV. They are less effective at protecting against STIs that are transmitted via skin to skin contact, such as HPV and herpes, because condoms do not cover 100% of the skin in genital areas. Talking to your partner about their STI status is the best way to know what type of protection you will want to use during sexual activity.

Using condoms during anal sex can be especially helpful in protecting against STI transmission. The anus does not self lubricate, so when it is penetrated, there is often significant friction against the inner anal tissues. This can result in microtears of the anal tissue that can allow viruses or bacteria into the bloodstream. Using condoms can help protect from unwanted fluid transmission. Using tons of lube helps too!

As for pregnancy prevention, condoms are about 85% effective. This means that the average person using condoms during penis-in-vagina sex has a 15% chance of getting pregnant within one year of use. If you’re interested in birth controls that are better at preventing pregnancy, intrauterine devices (IUDs) and the implant have effectiveness rates of over 99%.

Now that we’ve talked about all the things condoms can do, did you know how many different types of condoms there are to choose from!

Latex Condoms

This is likely the most commonly known type of condom. Latex is a durable material that has a low incidence of breakage. Some drawbacks are that latex has a strong smell and taste that can bother some people. Latex can also feel too constrictive or tight to some wearers. Finally, if you or your partner have a latex allergy, you’ll have to use a condom or barrier made from another material. Luckily, there are many other options!

Polyurethane Condoms

Polyurethane condoms protect against pregnancy and STIs. Polyurethane is less stretchy than latex which gives it a slightly higher breakage and slippage rate than latex condoms. However, the upside of polyurethane condoms are that more users report that they fit comfortably and allow for increased sensitivity during sex compared to latex condoms.

Polyisoprene Condoms

Polyisoprene is a form of synthetic latex that does not trigger latex allergies so it is safe for use by those with latex sensitivities. Because it’s like latex, these condoms are also stretchy and durable.

Lambskin or Animal Membrane

A lambskin barrier works as an effective method of birth control but they do not protect against STIs! Animal membranes are too porous to properly protect against the transmission of STIs like HIV and Hepatitis B.

Internal Condoms (Female Condoms)

If you have a vagina, there are condoms for you too! These are called ‘female condoms’ or internal condoms. These condoms are placed inside the vagina and you can insert them well before you have sexual contact with a partner. FC2 is the only brand of internal condoms in the USA that is FDA approved. You can sometimes get them at Planned Parenthood or a local health center. You can also order them online or buy them at places like WalMart or a drug store. Internal condoms are about 79% effective with average use.

Ok that was a lot about condoms…

But they are not the only barrier out there! Here are a few more to add to your barrier repertoire.

Dental Dams

Dental dams are thin rectangles of latex or polyurethane that protect against STI transmission during oral sex by covering the vagina or anus and their surrounding genital area. For example, Herpes can occasionally be transmitted during vaginal oral sex and Hepatitis A, Shigella, and a few other STIs can be transmitted during anal oral sex. Using a dental dam can help to reduce the risk of transmission.

You can buy dental dams or you can make a dental dam by cutting off the top of a condom and then cutting up the length of the condom so that you can roll the latex out into a flat rectangle. Fun fact, dental dams really are something that dentists use to isolate teeth they are working on in a patient’s mouth. However, these actual dentist dental dams are not as thin and flexible as the ones now made specifically for use during oral sex.

Finger Cots and Latex Gloves

Research has not yet been able to tell us if it is very likely to contract an STI from sticking your fingers into someone’s vagina or anus. However, if you or your partner have an STI, using finger cots or gloves during sexual activity can be a good way to prevent bodily fluids from being exchanged from genitals to fingers to other genitals or mouth. You’re probably familiar with latex gloves (feel free to indulge any doctor fantasies consensually with your partner here). Finger cots are mostly made for protecting your fingers when you’ve got a cut on them. They’re mainly made for medical uses, not sexual uses specifically. Look for finger cots made of latex from a drug store if you’d like to use them.

By now, your head is spinning with barriers and I hope you feel more empowered to choose the barriers that work best for you and complement the sex acts you enjoy most. If you have any further questions, email us at and we’ll help you get an accurate answer.

Louise Head is an queer-identified associate marriage and family therapist in Sacramento. She blogs at The Spot every 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month. For more evidence-based, intersectional sex-educational fun, follow her on Instagram



Real Talk About STIs

Often, the only advice we ever receive about sexually transmitted infections (STIs or STDs) is don’t get them. How are we meant to plan around STIs, either our own or a partner’s, if we’re barely allowed to ask about them? STIs are still treated with tons of shame in our culture despite the fact that many of them are completely curable and almost all of them are treatable.

Yun Heng Lin

Yun Heng Lin

STIs are Incredibly Common

50% of sexually active people will have had at least one STI by age 25. Because it’s really likely that if you are sexually active you will run into an STI at some point, it’s important to know where to get reliable information about STIs so that you can plan around them with partners.  

 When we know how to get our questions answered, we can respond to STIs from a place of knowledge, not a place of fear.

Here are some steps that you can take to build a better action plan around STIs.

Get Tested

Unfortunately, you can’t tell if you or someone else has an STI just by looking at them. Getting tested and understanding your STI status is the first step to being able to make informed decisions about your health. Knowing your status also prepares you for conversations about safer sex with partners.

 Often just finding somewhere to get tested is the most difficult step to take if you’ve never been tested before. Check out these free and low cost STI testing sites in Sacramento. Additionally, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) can help you find low-cost STI testing at a community health clinic based on your zip code. You can also get tested at your gynecologist’s office or at a Planned Parenthood clinic.

Get Reliable Information

Discovering that you (or a partner) have an STI can initially feel overwhelming. Give yourself time to adjust to the information. Understand that, because of how STIs are treated in our culture, it is normal if you find yourself experiencing feelings of distress, loss, shame, or fear. It can help to connect yourself to those who publically share their experience of having a certain STI on YouTube or Instagram or some other blog or social media (for example, Laureen HD, who uses social media to destigmatize living with herpes). This can help remind you that STIs are both normal and can really impact how you feel about yourself and your sex life.

 If a partner has shared that they have an STI, find an appropriate place to process feelings you might have about this without shaming or blaming your partner for having an STI. This might mean you need to do some research on your own or talk to a trusted friend about your initial reaction to their disclosure before discussing it further with your partner.

 When you feel ready,  educating yourself about the STI can help to reduce your anxiety and can remind you that there are so many options for having awesome, fulfilling sex while simultaneously planning around STIs between partners.

Next you need to know where to get trustworthy information, which is not always easy when you set sail on the ocean that is the modern day internet. You can find all types of untrue, alarmist information about STIs on the web. So how do you find information that you can trust?

 A few online resources that have reliable, fact-based information about STIs are the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website, Planned Parenthood, and the American Sexual Health Association. These resources will give you straightforward facts about STIs, how to prevent them, and options for treating them.

Sometimes the internet will not have the answer to your specific concern about an STI. If you need to talk to someone in person, try using San Francisco Sex Information. They will answer any question have about sex via phone or email for free. You can also talk to your gynecologist, primary care physician, or call a local community health clinic.

Discuss What Safer Sex Means for You and Your Partners

Once you have the information you need about a certain STIs, you’ll want to understand what this means for how you want to have sex and how your partners want to have sex. There is no one right way to make sex safer because people have different levels of risk tolerance. Understanding yours and your partners’ boundaries will guide how you make choices about sex.  Need help imagining what this conversation might look like? Check out Reid Mihalko’s video for some guidance.

 There is no form of sex that is completely safe. However there are lots of ways to make sex safer. Here are a few ideas:

  • Use barriers like condoms, dental dams, or gloves

  • Choose sex acts that have a lower risk of transmitting infections

  • Get tested regularly with your partner to stay up to date on your status

  • Make a safe sex agreement that you and your partner commit to using with all partners

  • Take preventative medications (like PrEP for HIV prevention) to target certain STIs

  • Have sex with partners who share the same STI as you

You can also use this chart to better understand which sex acts are associated with which types of STI transmission.

Once you’ve identified your boundaries, communicate them to your partners with compassion, ask them to share their own boundaries, and begin to build a vision for what types of sex acts you can enjoy together.

 And finally...

Remember, if this type of communication feels challenging, it’s because it is! We live in a culture that does not often teach us to communicate openly about sexual health and boundaries. Rather, our culture tends to treat discussing sex explicitly as embarrassing and awkward. However, communicating about STIs is an important part of consent and an important part of respecting your own body and your partners’ bodies. Commit to experimenting with which ways of communicating work best for you.

Louise Head is an queer-identified associate marriage and family therapist in Sacramento. She blogs at The Spot every 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month. For more evidence-based, intersectional sex-educational fun, follow her on Instagram


1 Comment

Social Work MUST Sit with Discomfort, Stand with Sex Workers

By Heather Woodford, ASW
The Sex Positive Social Worker

Recently, Laura LeMoon published an article on what it’s like to be a sex worker working in the field of social work.  LeMoon has worked in at least five social work positions – and has been either directly fired or edged out four of them as a result of being a sex worker.  The piece offers a keen and cutting critique of the expert-driven, hierarchal model of mainstream social work, based around the idea of “saving” or “rescuing” clients - in particular, sex workers.  This paradigm, LeMoon argues (and I agree) allows social workers to distance ourselves from our clients, retaining an air of superiority, even if not intentionally.

In my little corner of the world, LeMoon’s article caused a stir.  I shared the piece with local social work networks, and on my own personal and professional Facebook page.  One response I found particularly upsetting was a knee-jerk “how can they say that?!” reaction that smacked of “but not ALL social workers.”  

Have we learned nothing from the #MeToo movement? 

It matters little that not ALL social workers are explicitly unkind to sex workers, when we live in a whorephobic, sex work exclusionary society.  If we agree on nothing else, can we agree that social problems - by definition - are systemic, political, and relational - not merely individual?  That means that how we as a society treat social workers needs to be addressed at the individual, relational, agency, community and policy levels. 

No one wants to feel like they – or their tribe – are being personally attacked.  I understand the temptation to ask people to be patient or nice because it hurts our feelings to hear that they've had shitty experiences with mainstream social work - a profession that prides itself on its kindness and compassion.  I get that we want to defend our profession, our colleagues, to protest, "but not ALL social workers!"  However, I think this comes across as dismissive, arrogant, tone policing, and otherwise missing the point - not to mention, PERPETUATING the problem by refusing to actually address the issue.  It's a form of gas lighting.  It ignores the root causes of why and how sex workers are excluded and oppressed. 

However, the point is that sex workers do not HAVE the luxury of standing in line to ask politely, ad infinitum, for their rights.  They are marginalized, oppressed, murdered, driven out of systems that are supposed to provide for and protect people.  With an arrest record, how does one get a job?  With no document-able income how does one secure housing?  With no access to banks (yes, sex workers routinely have their bank, credit, PayPal and other accounts deleted because of the nature of their work), how do they establish credit or participate in the economy in a “legitimate” way?  With the risk of arrest, how can one call the police if they are raped, assaulted, or otherwise attacked on the job - or even off the job?

In its ideal form, social work should ALWAYS lead the way in progress toward greater justice for all, “with particular attention to the needs and empowerment of people who are vulnerable, oppressed, and living in poverty” (NASW 2017).  My seven years of training and practice as a social worker has introduced me to many, many kind-hearted individuals with the best of intentions; but I have also observed (and participated in) a deeply flawed system that mirrors larger social, political, and economic issues of inequality.  Social work, at is core, IS NOT and SHOULD NOT be a neutral profession. By nature of the fact that we exist in this society, in the words of Howard Zinn, “you can’t be neutral on a moving train.” This goes doubly so for professionals who operate under a Code of Ethics founded on social justice.  sometimes, we find ourselves in positions that force us to choose between our boss' policies, and our professional ethics.  For example, some social workers played a role in the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. 

Among our core social work values are service; valuing the inherent dignity and worth of individual people; and competence - which means we are an evidence-based profession, and we evaluate our the efficacy of our work using systems informed by the experiences of those we serve.  These principles guide us to LISTEN to people who experience systemic oppression (read: our target clients).  This goes doubly so when these particular folks are also our colleagues, who have been pushed out of our own profession by unethical practices perpetrated by our own colleagues and agencies. 

While some people may take exception to the author's "extreme" conclusion - that social work is inherently flawed, and radical solutions requiring fundamental change are required - I would invite social workers to remember that riots (and similarly extreme perspectives tactics) are the language of the UNHEARD.  Sex workers are routinely and systemically removed from participating in our society.  This is the EXACT definition of marginalization. 

NOWHERE in our Code of Ethics does it say that the social worker should provide service...except when the professional disagrees with the oppressed person's choices, opinions, or tactics.  Nowhere does our Code direct us to ignore inconvenient information, or unpopular perspectives.  Social workers work in prisons, with people who have committed crimes we may find to be anywhere from distasteful to egregious, to facilitate access to services and to rehabilitate individuals.  We work with people who have committed abuse against children, family members, partners, and others, to facilitate the healing of relationships and trauma, and to reunify families when appropriate.  We organize and advocate at the community level to address issues such as police violence against people of color, unequal distribution of resources, and environmental hazards that disproportionately impact poor communities, to name only a few social problems.  And we create policy change at systemic levels around these and any other social issue you can think of.  Does our Code of Ethics call upon us NOT to address the needs of ANY of these people because some members of this community may have participated in riots?  No.  Does the Code ask us to ignore discrimination against people whose civil, social, political, or other rights have been violated because they have participated in activities that are either illegal or in a legal gray area?  Again - no.  Not ever.  In fact, the California Board of Behavioral Sciences, and our Code of Ethics both place high value on nondiscrimination and confidentiality for clinical (and other) social workers.  

I am NOT equating sex workers with abusers or “criminals” - although our criminal justice system does a fine job of that on its own.  What I am saying is there is no room in our ethics or our practice to discriminate or ignore people because we don’t like what a person has done, or how they share their message.  

So when our response to others' desperate anger in the face of abject discrimination, oppression, and marginalization is to ask them to please phrase the problem more nicely, we are acting in direct opposition to our core values - especially integrity - which is often defined as "doing what's right, even when it's not convenient" - or, as I like to put it, making sure our actions match our values.  We are put to this test most especially when doing what's right feels uncomfortable or difficult.  

If you are a social worker reading this article, maybe you feel attacked by what I'm saying.  Hell, I feel attacked by what I'm saying.  I have poured tens of thousands of dollars, countless hours of free or underpaid work, emotional labor, etc., into developing myself into a social work professional. I am literally, and figuratively, INVESTED in social work. 

But my hurt feelings do NOT take precedence over another person's right to exist, and to access basic rights and social resources. 

On my first day of social work school, the professor who later became one of my most important mentors said, "get comfortable with being uncomfortable."  So whether it is uncomfortable or not, I will sit with this pain, AND I will continue to re-commit myself to standing with sex workers. 

I will own my discomfort - and more importantly, I will use this discomfort as fuel to create a world where there is no tension between the rights of sex workers, and my own identity as a social worker because BOTH are inherently respected. Because that's what a social worker does.  And if you are a social worker, I call on you to do the same.

Social work by definition, exists to align ourselves with those who are at the margins of society. 

It's time for social work to stand with sex workers.

sex worker rights.jpg

1 Comment


Your Pride Guide

By HethreBeth, the Sex Positive Social Worker


Hey Sacramento! June is here, and Pride Month is hot, hot, hot!

You have questions, and we have answers about Pride Month, parades, and festivals.


What is Pride, and why is it in June?


Pride, often called LGBTQ Pride, or historically Gay Pride, is a celebration of the LGBTQ+ community. The word Pride has intentionally been used in opposition to the idea that LGBTQ folks should remain ashamed, and hide or attempt to quash or change ourselves, our relationships, our identities, and how we express ourselves. While “gay” used to be a general term for all LGBTQ folks, we now more frequently say LGBT, LGBTQ+, or queer as more inclusive terms.


In many areas, Pride is celebrated in June to commemorate the Stonewall Riots. For much of American history, there were very few safe public spaces for transgender people, gay men, lesbians, bisexual people, and anyone else who didn't fit into gender or sexuality norms. One of the few places LGBTQ+ people had were gay bars. The Stonewall Inn in New York City was one of these places. The Stonewall Inn, like many gay bars, would often be raided by police, and the patrons would be kicked out, beaten, and arrested. After one such raid on June 28, 1969, Stonewall patrons, led by transgender women of color Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, began resisting the raids, standing up against the brutality of the police officers and oppressive laws and ordinance with direct actions.  These actions sparked a national movement, with LGBT rights organizations springing up in cities around the United States. Bisexual activist Brenda Howard and others organized the first Gay Pride march and rally in June, 1970 to commemorate these riots.


Many Pride events have become less connected to the political history of the riots, and more about a celebratory mood and finding community.


What happens at Pride?


Usually there will be a parade, followed by a festival. The festival will usually have kind or more stages with entertainment; food; activities; vendors; and booths from organizations such as social services, support groups, churches and religious organizations  schools, GSA/QSA groups, activist groups, businesses, local government, and more.


Who attends Pride?


In short: anyone who doesn't identify as straight, heterosexual, or otherwise normative around gender and/or sexual orientation, and those who support us.


These folks include:

  • Intersex people, who are neither biologically fully female or male

  • Transgender folks, including those who identify as agender, genderqueer, genderfluid, non binary, two spirit, and a plethora of others

  • Others who are gender non conforming, including drag kings, drag queens, Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and more

  • Pansexual, bisexual, sexually fluid, and other people who are sexually attracted to more than one gender

  • Asexual, aromantic, and other folks who do not experience sexual or romantic attraction in a normative way

  • Lesbians

  • Gay men

  • Anyone who identifies as queer

  • Service and support providers such as ASL interpreters, care attendants for queer people with disabilities, family members, partners, etc.

  • Allies to our community


Oh my gosh, why are there SO MANY RAINBOWS?


The rainbow flag was designed by Gilbert Baker in 1978, and originally included hot pink and indigo. However, the most commonly use flag includes red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple, with each color representing a different facet or component of our community.  Since then, rainbows, and rainbow flags have become a symbol for Pride and the LGBTQ+ community. In 2017, the Philadelphia pride committee added black and brown, to show intentional inclusion of queer people of color.


However, rainbow is not the only flag!  Many other flags exist to show pride for the varying identities and expressions of our community, including:

Two spirit pride

Transgender pride

Non-binary pride

Bisexual pride

Pansexual pride

Intersex pride

Polyamory pride

BDSM pride

...and many more!


Are families welcome?


Nowadays, most Pride marches and festivals welcome families and kids.  Check out your local event to find out more. Be aware that many Pride festivals serve alcohol.  


A great introduction to Pride for kids is the book This Day In June by Gayle E Pitman.


If you decide to attend Pride as a member of the queer community, or as an ally, here are some etiquette tips:


DO cheer for friends, floats, and groups marching in the parade.

DON’T attend pride just to gawk or laugh at people.

DO interact with people at Pride just as you would any other human - in a kind, open, but not creepy way.

DON'T touch people, especially in a sexual way, without consent

DON'T assume you can tell what someone's identity, relational status, preferences are just by looking.

DO visit booths to learn more about services offered by organizations, social groups, local queer-friendly businesses, etc. If you'd at Pride, I am making the assumption that you'd like to be a safe, resourceful person for any LGBTQ+ person in your life. Learning more about these organizations can help you get involved, or just know who to refer a colleague, friend, or loved one when they come out to you.

DON'T out anyone you run into by sharing that you saw them at Pride when you are back at work/church/school, etc., if you are not 100% certain that they are okay with everyone around knowing this. They may not be out (even as an ally) with work, church, school, family or friends. Everyone gets to share details about their own lives when and how they are comfortable. This is a matter of both respect and safety!

DO have a great time!  Stay safe and healthy by drinking lots of water, using sunscreen, and staying cool in the heat; bring and BE a safe person for other queer people. It is a party, but it is also a safe space for queer folks.

DO keep the spirit of Pride - remembering it was originally a protest against injustice - with you and stand up for LGBTQ+ rights the other 364 days of the year!  


Learn more about our history, get acquainted with local and national resources:


Happy Pride month!


The Sexy, Gifty, Holiday-y Extravaganza!


The Sexy, Gifty, Holiday-y Extravaganza!


As part of our 12 Days of Sexy Holidays, we're hosting a festive gathering of sex positive folks to make merry and celebrate the season!

You'll also be able to check out great, sexy gifts from local adult store Autonomous Love, meet sex positive professionals, and eat a cookie or two (if that's your thing). Happy Holidays, and we hope to see you there!

When: December 17, 2016 at 6 PM

Where: TBA


Sex Positive Karaoke!


Sex Positive Karaoke!

Come sing with us! No talent required, just bring your sex positivity!

When: Friday, November 11th, 2016 8:00 PM to 1:00 AM

Where: The Distillery, 2107 L Street, Sacramento, CA 95816

Check out the event on Facebook and Meetup 

Hope to see you there! 🎤


Sex Positive Halloween Mingler on Sunday, October 23, 2016


Sex Positive Halloween Mingler on Sunday, October 23, 2016

Sex Positive Sacramento cordially invites you to bring all your tricks and treats to our Halloween Mingler! Come and meet other sex positive Sacramentans, get a delectable treat bag, and give your costume a trial run if you like! (Costumes are encouraged, but certainly not required.) If you are a professional looking for new like-minded contacts, bring your business cards or other promotional materials! 

Hope to see you there! 





Content warning: this is a personal account of my weekend.  It alludes to the violence at Pulse night club in Orlando, and to personal sexual experiences. 

I must have cried 7 or 8 separate times over the past few days, for various reasons. 


Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: A Book Review by guest blogger Lesley Walker

1 Comment

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: A Book Review by guest blogger Lesley Walker

"Nagoski also talks more in depth about not judging ourselves for the feelings we may need to express along the path of understanding our sexuality better. And she ends with some very practical yet compassionate advice about accepting that this body, this sexuality that we have, 'this is it.' Now is a better time than any to start learning to work with it rather than against it and enjoy our sexual selves."

1 Comment